{"id":229901,"date":"2026-06-22T11:23:36","date_gmt":"2026-06-22T09:23:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.parisselectbook.com\/2026\/06\/22\/shrekking-the-dating-trend-from-tiktok-that-encourages-people-to-go-out-with-someone-theyre-not-attracted-to\/"},"modified":"2026-06-22T11:23:36","modified_gmt":"2026-06-22T09:23:36","slug":"shrekking-the-dating-trend-from-tiktok-that-encourages-people-to-go-out-with-someone-theyre-not-attracted-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.parisselectbook.com\/en\/2026\/06\/22\/shrekking-the-dating-trend-from-tiktok-that-encourages-people-to-go-out-with-someone-theyre-not-attracted-to\/","title":{"rendered":"“Shrekking,” the dating trend from TikTok that encourages people to go out with someone they’re not attracted to"},"content":{"rendered":"

In 2026, \u201cshrekking\u201d<\/strong> emerged as one of the most baffling dating trends of the moment. Originating on TikTok, this phenomenon challenges a belief that many consider fundamental: Isphysical attraction<\/a> really essential for building a solid relationship? <\/p>\n

What exactly is “shrekking”?<\/h2>\n

The term takes its name from Shrek, the endearing ogre from the Disney saga. The idea is simple: set aside the pursuit of physical attraction<\/strong> in favor of a partner who is protective<\/a>, emotionally available, and capable of building a lasting relationship. <\/p>\n

As surprising as it may seem at first glance, this concept reflects a deeper shift in our approach to romantic relationships. Yet it didn\u2019t come out of nowhere. Gen Z<\/a>, raised in the era of dating apps and \u201csituationships,\u201d seems to be questioning intensity as a central criterion for a couple. <\/p>\n

As a result, emotional security has become sexy<\/strong>. Someone who clearly communicates their intentions now seems more attractive<\/a> than someone who is seen as elusive. <\/p>\n

A trend that originated in the depths of TikTok<\/h3>\n

The phenomenon has spread rapidly on TikTok, where thousands of users are sharing their experiences. Many stories describe how a relationship that initially lacked spark evolved thanks to the emotional stability of a caring partner. <\/p>\n

Consequently, what some call \u201cshrekking\u201d directly challenges our priorities. Physical attraction takes a back seat to qualities such as kindness, reliability, and clarity of intentions. <\/p>\n

Charlotte York and Harry: The Pop Culture Reference for “Shrekking”<\/h2>\n

Some see an early manifestation of this trend in the cult classic 1990s series *Sex and the City<\/em>*. Charlotte York, played by Kristin Davis, is searching for the perfect husband when she falls in love with her divorce lawyer, Harry Goldenblatt. <\/p>\n

Yet Charlotte doesn’t find him attractive. Worse still, Harry embarrasses her. <\/p>\n

“Do you realize how lucky you are to be with me? What do we look like? Do you know what people think of us when they see us together?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Charlotte York ends up marrying him anyway, largely because of the kindness he shows her. What adds nuance to the situation on screen is that this marriage was not premeditated: Charlotte does not choose her husband by default, but actually falls in love with him<\/strong>, despite herself. <\/p>\n

A scenario that mirrors real life<\/h3>\n

This fictional couple resonates with a reality that many can relate to. Thus, Charlotte and Harry’s story illustrates that attraction can arise where you least expect it. <\/p>\n

However, there is one crucial distinction: in *Sex and the City*<\/em>, romantic feelings are not calculated. They develop naturally, over time and as the characters get to know each other. <\/p>\n

    \n
  • Shrekking values emotional availability over physical appearance.<\/li>\n
  • Gen Z sees this as a solution to the disappointments of dating apps.<\/li>\n
  • Charlotte York and Harry Goldenblatt are cited as pop culture examples of this dynamic.<\/li>\n
  • Emotional security has emerged as a new criterion for attraction.<\/li>\n
  • The phenomenon emerged and spread primarily through TikTok.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    “Shrekking” is a divisive topic: emotional maturity or a calculated move in love?<\/h2>\n

    Opinions on this phenomenon are divided. On the one hand, some see it as a sign of emotional maturity: choosing a stable partner rather than chasing after toxic but thrilling relationships. <\/p>\n

    On the other hand, some people are speaking out to highlight a real risk. This trend reinforces certain aesthetic standards<\/strong> by implying that a person deemed less attractive would necessarily treat their partner better. Conversely, it also suggests that an attractive person would inevitably behave poorly. This line of reasoning establishes a hierarchy around beauty and turns it into a bargaining chip<\/strong> within the relationship. <\/p>\n

    Furthermore, this line of reasoning risks reducing a romantic relationship to a rational calculation, devoid of any spontaneity. Desire and stability then become two opposing poles, when in fact they could coexist. <\/p>\n

    The question raised by this phenomenon is, however, a legitimate one: in a world saturated with fleeting relationships and ghosting, isn\u2019t it reasonable to reevaluate one\u2019s criteria? Yet there is a risk of confusing healthy compromise with giving up on one\u2019s own desires. <\/p>\n

    Have enough self-respect not to choose by default<\/h3>\n

    The debate sparked by “shrekking” raises a deeper question about self-esteem. Looking for a partner who is attractive in every way\u2014physically, emotionally, and intellectually\u2014is not an unrealistic expectation. <\/p>\n

    On the other hand, this right to universal attraction also requires granting oneself the self-worth necessary to claim it. Perhaps true emotional maturity lies precisely in this: valuing oneself enough to refuse to choose between desire and security, and to seek both at the same time. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    In 2026, \u201cshrekking\u201d emerged as one of the most baffling dating trends of the moment. 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